Cheers to a fanta-bulous weekend!!!

Man, I had the best weekend EVER!!! As it was my second last weekend in Ozland, I thought I might as well go nuts!! And so I did. Everything started with a very, very great mate, Oscar, coming over from SAD-Adelaide (the name of the city is Adelaide but the place's soooo boring that people here in Australia call it Sad- Adelaide) to visit me. We met a few years back at uni, and as I’m flying back to Brazil in 10 days for good, he thought it would be a good idea to give me a ‘good bye’ hug personaly. How sweet!!!

Well, he came over to Brissie Thursday last week, and then the party started. Everything started with a carton of beer, nice dips and cheese in my front deck on the evening he arrived. On Friday we went to Wet’n’Wild for some childish fun. Man, that was fun indeed!!! The weather was just sensational, typical of Queensland. A part of going crazy at the rides, I got the best tan, just how I like it!! After some adrenaline released on my body, we went back home for some alcohol. We had a few beers there with my flatmate (Ash) and his girlfriend, also my dear friend (Sharon) and all of us went for dinner in my favourite (and the coolest!) restaurant in town. As we walked into the restaurant, the owner, who’s a friend of mine, ordered us a bottle of sparkling wine in the house (very posh!!). And a few bottles later, and some dirty, dirty talking (that’s what drunk people do, talk dirty!! Hum, you must be nodding right now agreeing with me, huh??? I know!!), we found the dance floor. Man, we did some serious dancing, and ass shaking, I tell you. The sound track was inspired by the 80’s, and the DJ was bloody awesome!!! We had a ball!!! I was way off my head when we went back home. But as if the sparkling wine wasn’t enough, we decided to have some Gin t’s too at home.

The Saturday also promised to be big. I woke up and felt as if a train had hit me. But I didn’t let it pull me down. I had big plans for that day too, and I had to be ready for it. Oscar and I left home around midday and went to another friend’s place, right on the river, with the most beautiful view. We relaxed there for a few hours, drank some beer to start with, and then we jumped to the delicious, yummy, tasty mango Martini, made by one of the gals… she’s sooo good at making cocktails, she kills me with them. We left around 9.30ish and went to this cool bar called Glass. Guess what?? We drank there too. We met a few other guys there, and we all went to a nightclub afterwards for a boogie. Man, I danced hard and hard again. I hadn’t done that much dancing for ages… I had so much fun!! It was sooo good to spend time with this mate of mine from SAD-Adelaide, after so many years… and I reckon he enjoyed himself heaps too.

On Sunday, everyone was absolutely exhausted, and we decided to rest (not!). We went to this lovely bowls club there is here in Brissie, right in front of the river. We got there around noon and only left about 7ish. It was sooo nice to have a ‘chill out’ day, a few cold beers, a nice meal and some nonsense, spaced out conversation…

My weekend was definitely fanta-bulous!! I really enjoyed being able to do whatever I wanted to, without worrying much about stuff, feeling guilty, being able to relax. As it was my second last weekend here, I wanted to make the most out of it. And so I did. I’ll miss this place soooo much. Australia has been home for such a long time. It’ll hurt to leave. But I’ll survive, and I’m looking forward to getting in my new old home.

Here are some pics for you to amuse yourself. Enjoy it!!!

Friday night:

B, Ash and myself



Myself, Ash and Sharon



Everyone at dinner (way drunk already!)



Saturday:

Myself, Oscar, B and Mi - Yummy mango Martini



Ben, myself and Tristan



Myself, Oscar, Liesel and Mi



Myself, Oscar and Mi



Mi, Ben, myself and ops!! dunno



Sunday:

Myself and Mi at the bowls club



Everyone at the bowls club

He's chauvinist!!!

My brother once said he reckons I wish I was born a man. I think this is ludicrous!!! Me?!?!? Wish to be born a man?!?!?! I couldn’t think of anything worse. But the interesting thing is he says so because I LOVE cars, especially the big, chunky 4WDs. Also, because I LOVE bikes.

I always said I was going to have a beautiful Wrangler to do some dirty, dirty off road tracks one day. And, off course, I was going to be behind the wheels. I always said that I was going to have a couple of bikes to travel around a few places on my holidays, especially a hot Harley to travel with all the bikies.

I think it’s very silly to say that only guys do that. That’s very chauvinist!!!

But the point of this post isn’t how male alike my brother reckons I am. The point is that I had the chance to go for a little ride (really little ride) on a hot, hot, hot Harley last weekend. I couldn’t believe how cool it is!! The sound of its exhauster was music to my ears…check out the photos. I was so excited!!! I so wish this Harley was mine :-(

Having a big laugh!!!

This is freaking hilarious!!!! Ben (you've heard of him here) and I always crack up with some Internet movies we find around. We specially enjoy the Japanese ones. They are sooo funny!!! I got one here for you to have a look. Enjoy it!!!

Men are weird!!

Honestly, I don’t get it!!! Let me tell you this story. On my way from Brazil, my flight was canceled before I left Auckland to Australia. Everyone in that flight had to stay over in New Zealand for the night. There was a group of seven Brazilians, including myself, hanging out. We were all set to stay in the same hotel. It was quite fun, actually, we got a few (yes, right! A few!) beers and stayed in the hotel the whole day drinking piss.

Apart from myself, they were all traveling to Australia for the first time. Everyone was curious and very excited about the whole thing, as you would. They asked me heaps and heaps of questions and I was the one elected to deal with the situation, because of my English. I was the person who talked to the hotel people, the airline etc. Well, to summarize, I was being very nice, patient, answering all their questions, helping them out as much as I could. You know, I like helping people because I’m a very sweet person. Yes, I am!!!

Anyway, one of the guys didn’t speak a word in English. And not only that, it was his first time leaving Brazil. And not only that either, it was his first time in an airplane... owww! So, he felt safe around me, for some reason. And we hung out a lot. I didn’t mind helping him out at all. He was a nice guy, and I kinda imagine he was going through a difficult situation. But there was nothing going on between us, for sure!!! I was being helpful, he found someone to count on, and that was the deal. No flirting whatsoever, I promise!

So, the next day when we arrived at the airport (bloody 3.30am, mind you), everyone was going nuts. As our flight had been canceled the day before, everyone was trying to get into flights that morning. The airport was crowded, and the Air New Zealand staff (the loveliest and most helpful people!!) was trying really hard to fit everyone into flights. The seven of us finally got our flight arrangements, but not everyone together. Four of us went first, then two, and finally the last one. Guess who was the unlucky, lonely one??? My little buddy!!! Poor guy, I felt sooooo sorry for him. I could see on his eyes he was about to have a nerve-break-down. I reckon he would have taken the first plane back to Brazil if he could. I really felt for him and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Poor boy, he couldn’t speak English, and his flight was only two o’clock that arvo (long time to go, if you’ve been in the airport since 3.30am).

Well, once I got home and things were settled I sent him an email asking for some news. He got me very worried when I left NZ, you know!! Now, guess what he wrote back to me?? Something on those lines: “I’m fine, thanks for asking. I really would like you to come and spend a weekend with me in Sydney because you’re a hottie!!!!” WHAT THE?????

After all my dedication and concern, all he can think about is a nice pair of legs and the big (and natural – excuse me!!) boobs?!??!?!?! Oh, please!!!! Why are men like that?? I really appreciate when a guy compliment me in the way I look. But I’m much more than that!!! I like when guys go past this point, and say something a bit more original like I’m funny, I’m authentic, intelligent or maybe I’m honest, I don’t know!! Just don’t say you want spend the weekend with me because I’m hot!! I’ll punch you in the face and you’ll see how a hot girl can cool you down very quickly.

Awkward situation...

You know, when you are in the bus, and you want to offer a lady your seat because she seems pregnant but you are not sure if you should, because she might not be pregnant after all?

It happened to me this morning and I really hate this situation. I don't want to embarrass the lady, but I don't want to embarrass myself either...

What the hell do you do in a situation like that???

It sounds like a decision here

I could still smell the rain from the night before. The streets weren’t wet though. I wondered if the lighting and the rain came only inside my head, or maybe just above my house, my roof.

I crossed the road in the same usual spot. I walked up the same set of stairs, I set down on the little corner that I always have, waiting for the 323. In the background I could hear the beautiful sound of a sax - my favourite instrument. That was the only novelty to that scenario. The people walking by were the same, wearing pretty much the same clothes as always. Familiar faces doing daily, exactly what I was doing… going to work.

It seemed like I had never left. I seemed like I wasn’t way for three months. But the true is, I felt totally different, everything smelt differently, and suddenly I wasn’t as comfortable as usual. Something was missing…

Things here may not have changed at all in the past three months, but my life, oh my life, it has changed totally, upside down. And when I say ‘upside down’, I don’t mean that my life isn’t good, I just mean that things have changed TOTALLY!!! My plans from a few months back make no sense anymore. And plans that seemed so far to occur now seem perfectly suitable for the moment I’m in. How ironic!!!

This place doesn’t feel so right anymore. I’m missing something or maybe a few things. As days go by I notice that everything is becoming clearer. My time in Australia has expired and I want to go home for good.

I miss my family, friends, all the beloved ones. I miss my culture, my food, and the good times. That I’ll miss Australia, the lovely, lovely friends I met here, all the crazy moments of freedom I had, that’s for sure!!! But we should know when it’s time to abandon the ship. And this time has come for me, pirate. I’m off!!!!

One day to go...

I've just finished my shower, and before I could realize I was busting in tears. Very sad, I know! I hate seeing people crying, specially when the person crying is actually me! Now you ask, 'why??' Good one! I'm flying back to Australia in a day, and for the first time in 6 bloody years, I'm confused, confused and confused... ah!!! I'm also thorn apart.
Every time I come to Brazil for holidays, I always, always count the days to head back home, Australia that is. I'm always so excited that I can't barely sleep. I'm usually smiling away, singing (very badly), cheering, all those things that happy people do. Now, busting in tears is DEFINITELY a reaction that has never occurred to me before, a few days prior my trip back to Australia.
The past four weeks have been a bit hard for me. I hope I'm not exaggerating (that's what I usually do) but I've been really frustrated. This is the first time in Brazil that I actually see myself living back here. This is the first time that my friends ask me A LOT to come back. Maybe they've always done that and now it's the first time I hear it, I don't know. I just wonder though why this doubt? I really love Australia, and I have a life of my own there. But I wonder if the break up with my (ex)babe is telling me something. Maybe it's telling me that it's time to go home, to my real home, close to my family and roots.
But I'm scared of being weak, fragile, stupid, anxious by deciding to come back to live in Brazil. Also, what the hell do I do with the 6 years I lived away??? Stick it up mine??? Excuse my French, but I'm very sad and frustrated!!!! No one's fault, but what should I do??? It has been such a difficult decision, and I can't wait to arrive in Australia to see how I feel there, to see if I still belong there... ahhhhh God, I'm bloody confused!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry, I hope it wasn't too loud!!! But now I feel relived for sharing that with you. Thank you! OK, I gotta go because I have one more night to get on the piss here in Brazil, at least for a while, and I have to get on with it. I should be back here soon with some decisions, I hope. And some stories too.

Take care and wish me a safe flight.

I'm coming back...

Well, well, well, look who has popped in to say 'hi'... ME!!!!!!!!

I bet you thought I was caught by one of the natives in the Amazon, or was eaten alive by the piranhas, or maybe took the carnival troop around Brazil, partying very hard and drinking way too much, missing my flight back to Australia...

I'm sorry to disappoint you but nothing like that has happened, at least not yet. However, very importantly, I have experienced some things here and I do indeed have some juicy stories up my sleeve. The question to be asked is whether I'll share them with you or not...

I'll be back "Down Under" in less than 15 days, HHOOORRRAAAYYY!!!!!!! So I'll be back here then telling you some of my adventures.

I miss my book sooooo much...and you too.

Beijos and hasta la vista.

Friday 13th

I’m not a superstitious person. I have to admit though that I can’t resist when it comes down to a perfect situation, I always spit out a superstitious expression… “Don’t put your bag on the floor because your money will go away“, “Don’t have the last piece otherwise you’ll never get married.” I always say those things out loud, but I don’t believe them at all.

Many superstitious people believe Friday 13th is evil, they bring you bad luck. Friday 13th for me, means nothing. But whenever there is a Friday 13th coming up, I say “ohhhooo this Friday is going to be Friday 13th, oohhoooo!!!”. I honestly don’t give a rat’s.

Well, ironically enough, last Friday 13th was very unlucky and evil. After 6 years of a healthy, fun, beautiful, sharing relationship, my babe and I broke up. I’m heart broken, I’m sad, shocked, angry, disappointed, lost, scared, everything!!! I didn’t see that coming, and maybe neither did he. But the bottom line is it happened and my life now will continue in a different direction.

I won’t be hopeful that we’ll get back together, but I can’t deny that I’d love it to be the case. I think he needs me as much as I need him, and that we are just perfect together. I think we maybe need a break to rethink about where we stand in this world and learn more about ourselves as individuals. And for sure this break up will either make our relationship stronger or it’ll dissolve slowly what we built together with so much love in the past 6 years.

This post is just to say so long to something that made me complete and happy for such a long time. To something that helped me grow, made me a better person and a stronger woman, to something that made me laugh and cry so many times. To something that I loved intensively, and I never wanted to let go. To something that taught me sooooo much about friendship, companionship and understanding. But most importantly, to someone that I’ll never stop loving, however love is.

I’m strong now and I’ll always be.

To you that I always called vida (life), I love you very much.

It's time to go...

Finally!!! I made my decision to go back home for a while. I’ve been finding it very hard to deal with my family’s situation from a few continents away. I’m quite exhausted of getting mum’s sad phone calls, my brother’s stressed voice tones and dad’s lack of common sense and responsibility.

I thought that it was time to go and see for myself what the problem is, and what seems to be the reason behind my family’s breakdown.

This decision was a very tough one. As I’m going for a while, I decided to give up my apartment, in one of the most beautiful spots in Brisbane, and give up my great job as well. That was even harder, as I have created a strong bond with my boss and my work mates. I also enjoy the work and I find it rewarding the company’s appreciation towards me.

I have to say though, I’m relieved now that I know I’ll be with mum soon. I’ll be there to support her and help her go through her issues. I’ll try to show her the positive side of life and encourage her to learn about and experience different things.

For my brother, I hope to support him through his decisions and maybe give him my shoulder for a cry if necessary. He might need it!! I’ll try very hard not to judge or censure his behaviour. I tend to talk too much (if you haven’t noticed) and end up saying things that maybe I shouldn’t. So I’ll try to avoid this path with him this time.

With dad, only God knows what will happen. He told me last time in the phone that he wants me to meet “someone”. That won’t happen, but I was very upset with the idea that I’ll actually gonna have to say that to him. I’ll also try to have an adult conversation with him about other things that have been going through my mind, giving me nightmares. I’m just not sure if dad knows what ‘an adult’ conversation means. I’ll have to try it out this time.

I’m a bit scared of this trip, as it doesn’t feel like a holiday. I’m a bit scared of the negative energy I’ve been feeling when I speak to my family. I’m scared that I might not be able to solve any of the problems, and end up coming back to Australia defeated by the conflicts that have taken over my family.

Sometimes I feel that because I’ve been living away from home for 6 years, I’ve become this independent person, not without a family of course – but someone who makes decisions and choices detached by the rest of the family. Does it make sense?? So, I kinda feel like an outsider, and I think, act and behave so different to them. I feel that the three of them are just sucked in by these problems and they attack each other all the time rather then make a self analyse of how each can improve individually and solve the bloody problems.

Well, as I said, I’m petrified of this trip, and I’m soooo scared of, in the end of the day, not being able to help solve the problems or at least bring some happiness and good news to my family.

I guess all I can do is try, change my approach to something more understanding and calm and pray!!!

Wish me luck!!!!

Transformers, the movie

For some crazy reason in this whole world, all the men in my life are stubborn. And I’m not talking about only men I get involved emotionally with (and physically. ehhrrr, no further details here, excuse me!), I’m talking about friends, my brother, my dad, uncles, cousins, work mates, every single one of them.

I usually say one always attracts the same type of person closer to themselves. I dunno how to explain this, but I believe a person will always find one (or maybe two or three) particular characteristic in a partner that was common to all previous partners. Well, if it hasn’t happened to you, you’re freaky!!! This happens to all people I know well.

Back to the story, the most common characteristic in men, in my personal experience is stubbornness. And as I said, it isn’t only with my partner. I get it with all my male friends and relatives as well.

Well, the movie Transformers started showing yesterday on the cinemas here in Australia. My work mate, whose desk is right across mine, was dying to see this movie, and he was counting the days for the opening. He was so excited at work yesterday, telling me how he couldn’t wait to watch the movie that night. I gave him the first piece of advice:

Me: “The cinema is going to be packed tonight with screaming kids, with their Transformer toys, running around the place, making funny noises “vvvvvvtttttt”, “paw”, shhhhtttt”, and you’ll be going nuts asking yourself what the hell your are doing there in the opening night…

He said that there were TWO, not only one, but TWO sessions around 6.15pm ish and he’s going to be fine.

Then I gave him the second piece of advice:

Me: “6pm?? That’s exactly when the parents leave work, pick up their kids and go to the opening night of a movie their kids like. A movie like Transformers, for example. Why don’t you go later???”

At that stage, I started to realise that he was just one more of the stubborn men that crosses my life and I started to have a laugh…

He went on and on about how he’d be fine as there were two sessions, and that wouldn’t be a problem.

Then I decided to give him the third and last piece of advice, but it came with a warning:

Me: “Ben, it’s 3.45pm now. If you REALLY want to make this movie tonight, you must book your ticket now in the Internet. Otherwise you won’t get seats. It has happened to me before, and I was very disappointed. And, most importantly, if you don’t get the tickets, you will miss out, and I will make sooooooo, but sooooo much fun of you that you will hate me and the Transformers forever. I’ll have no mercy!!!”

He said he’d be fine.

Ok, this morning started very well for me. As I opened the office door…

Me: “Morning Ben, how was the movie??”

Ben: “Good” (with a very shy smile)…

Me (dancing around the office): “hahaahhahahahha, hahahhahahaha, hahahahahhhaha… You hahahahha didn’t hahahha see the movie hahahahahaha, did you????

Ben: “ No, it was sold out”

Me: “hahahahahha, hahahhahaha, hahahhahahha”

So, I’ve been making fun of him the whole day.

“So Ben, what did you do after the movie last night??? Oh, sorry that’s right, you actually didn’t watch the movie. Hahahahhahahahha”

Or “You’re feeling tired??? Probably because you arrived home late from the movie last night. Oh, ops, you didn’t watch the movie hahaahahahah…”

I can be sooo mean sometimes. I soooo love that!!! But why don’t men listen??? I have to pay them out when these things happen, don’t you think???

Well, my day at work is finishing soon, and Ben and I just had the following conversation:

Me: “What are you doing tonight??”

Ben: “Watching the Transformers”

Me: “It’s 3pm, buy your ticket now…”

Ben: “It’s Friday, who will go to the cinemas tonight??”

In the story begins again…

Being twenty - something...

Hey, hey, it's me again. Twice in the same day??? I know, what's wrong with me??? I'm such in a good mood that I might even come back again later on today...that will be three posts in a day, Hooray!!! (Sorry, just in case you can't count...)

Well, I'm here to share stuff again. My lovely friend Moiz has sent me this text below. I reckon many, many people would identify themselves with it. Enjoy it!!!

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you be in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

Beijos and I might see you later, with my third post today (weird, huh??) And have you done the 26 questions?? So what are you waiting for?? Go and do it now...

Ramdon questions....

A friend sent me these questions via email and I thought I might share them with you.

Could you please be nice and cut/paste them into your blog with your own answers??? Please don't be boring, and participate. It's fun...here we go:

1. What is your occupation? Support and Student Liaison Officer

2. What colour are your socks right now? White, I only wear white socks for some stupid reason...

3. What are you listening to right now? Some dodge song from Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave, and Ben's keyboard while he types something (probably silly) :-)

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Breakfast, very yummy!! Pears with Greek yogurt, oats and honey. It's healthy too, I'm trying to lose weight :-(

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Of course. I'm the best driver in the whole world, and good drivers don't drive stupid automatic cars...those are for loser. Sorry, that's my opinion...

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Red, my favourite colour, just like me. Strong, unforgettable and beautiful (and very modest!!)

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Dad, in Brazil.

8. How old are you today? 24 - Boring!!!

9. Favourite drink? Alcohol... ops I sound like an alcoholic. I'll rephrase that, anything that contains a substance that makes you feel different (it can be good or bad different) after continuous sips...

10. What is your favourite sport to watch? Soccer and volleyball. I also love watching ice skating. My babe hates it!! Can I answer the one I most hate to watch too??? Baseball and American football, I just don't get it!!!

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Hummmm, I used to like to say "my hair is virgin", but not anymore. But I've only done 12 foils and only twice. Does it count??? Can I still call my hair 'virgin'?? Please!!!!

12. Pets? My boyfriend... what??? Is it wrong??? I like to put a collar on him hehehehehehehhe...

13. Favourite food? I love them all!!! I'm a big pig!!! That's why I'm trying to loose weight now!!!

14. What was the last movie you watched? Seven years in Tibet, on DVD. I absolutely loved it!!!! I want to move to Tibet, but for a month only. Couldn't handle wearing the same thing everyday...

15. Favourite holiday? Brazil on summer with my family and friends, partying like an animal, carnival, food, drinks, have I said parties??

16. What do you do to vent anger? I bitch, I bitch, I bitch. Ah, I also speak very loud (read scream) at the person or the thing that's making me angry.

17. What was your favourite toy as a kid? My roller blades, for sure.

18. What is your favourite, autumn or Spring? Dunno, summer?!?!?!?!?

19. Hugs or kisses? Hum, that's funny, because I like both, but kisses is my favourite and my babe's favourite is hug :-( we were actually talking about this yesterday...

20. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry, yummy!!!

21. Do you want your friends to write this in their blogs? That would be nice...

22. Living arrangements? I live in the most beautiful place in the world. I love it!!!

23. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday morning talking to my mum in the phone... long story..

24. What's on the floor of your closet? Shit loads of stuff. My closet isn't that big so I have to improvise... handbags and my 12 pair of boots....

25. What did you do last Night? Played beach volleyball, froze my toes when doing that, and went home to cook yummy Brazilian stuff with my flatmate. And went to bed with my babe. It was lovely...

26. what are you doing tonight? Going to friends' place for dinner. It'll be a Malaysian fish, YUMMY!!! Please stop dribbling all over the screen... Thank you!!!

Now, what are you waiting for??? This post is over... go and post your 26 questions. Go, go, go!!!

I have CSD.

That’s right, my friend. If you no longer wish to relate with me, I think it’s bloody fair enough!!! It’s very hard to be friends with someone who has Compulsive Shopping Disorder!

I’m not a vain person, I promise. I don’t relate to people because of their appearance, their style, where they buy their clothes from or even if they wear anything at all. But I tell you people, I have shit loads of stuff, that’s not funny!!! Do you want hear numbers???? I give you some number: 19 pairs of jeans, 12 pair of boots (in Brisbane, where the lowest average temperature in winter is 18 degrees for God’s sake!!!), 35 pair of shoes and around 20 handbags. Not to mention the tops, dresses (Oh gosh, dresses. I LOVE them, I LOVE them. I’ve got heaps and heaps of dresses), belts, rings, necklaces, earrings and more, much more…

Now, after all this information above, guess what I did yesterday? I went shopping!!! How much does one need??? I have to blame this little incident on my friend Moiz (who’s Indian. You see?? I love Indian people. Don’t get the joke?? Read here).

Well, back to the story, we were meant to catch up for a beer after work yesterday. The poor boy ended up working till a bit later, so I was left alone, defenseless, in the care of my credit card’s power in the city. But there is more. Yeap, more!!! The innocent Paulinha is walking in the streets of Brisbane where there are SALE signs bloody everywhere. The signs were walking towards me, holding me by the hair, by the hair people, by the hair, and dragging me inside their shops. What was I supposed to do?? I wasn’t gonna fight them, was I?? They are stronger than me.

The sad side of the story is that these SALE signs follow me everywhere, I promise. Every time I’m in the city walking to a bus stop, to meet a friend or whatever, these signs run in my direction, tackle me down and pull me by my feet into their stores. WHAT CAN I DO???? Please someone tell me!!!

So, end of the story last night, which is the same end every time a SALE sign undertakes me, was that I bought a beautiful pair of Leopard skin hill (I know, very sexy!!) and a red wristlet purse (excuse me, totally necessary!!!).

In my defense, I would like to emphasize here that I’m not vain. Just because I’m often detained by the SALE signs, it doesn’t mean I’m a weak person. Also, it doesn’t mean that all I think about is appearance or that I’m a superficial person.

We all have our weaknesses and obsessions. Each to their own. Mine is Compulsive Shopping Disorder!!!

The four nutcases

Once upon a time four girls decided to leave the stress and stinky air of the big city behind, and depart in an adventure they would never forget. The destination was Stanthorpe, and the main goal was to have fun.

Gears packed, everyone collected, food and drinks set to go, map opened in the wrong page, and off they went. The drive was great! A loud and funny girly talk was the sound track, with an almost silent SugarBabes’ track being played in the background. In front of them, the beautiful and wavy landscape guided the girls throug the right way.

Once they arrived in the town, everything was magic! The girls found a colourful tree where they stopped to relax, and enjoy the fresh air.



They also found a beautiful lake where they could enjoy the view while playing with the friendly puppies.



But as the sun was going down, the girls had to get ready. They had big plans for the evening!

A couple of hours later, looking absolutely stunning…



…they left the motel for a journey they would never imagine.

Everything started with the first bottle of wine…



…and then there was the second, third and forth…



What the girls didn’t know was that wines are very evil, and they have some enchanting effect on people. After a few bottles, wine can make you extremely happy (or sad depending on the day!!!), funny, silly, and addictive, very addictive.

So everything started to go down hill. After dinner, desperate for more wine, the girls rushed to the motel so they could feed their thirst…

Once they walked into the motel, they came to a terrible realisation… “Oooohhh nnnoooo!!! We don’t have a bottle opener”, screamed one. “Oooohhh nnnooo!! That’s the end of the world!!! No more wine for tonight!!!”

But one of the girls had a life saving idea: “let’s open it with a Swiss knife (Thank God for the Swiss knife!!!)”. After a few minutes of much struggle and wine wastage (do you know how bloody hard it is to open a bottle of wine with a bloody Swiss knife?? Man, it’s bloody hard!!!), the miracle happened. The bottle was open…



And the cork was inside.

But things became even worse for the girls. Things started getting crazy,



OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!



And the girls were overtaken by a laughter force, where they couldn’t control themselves anymore…



Than they started dancing…



And the unexpected (read: totally expected) happened…



They were sooooo drunk that they spilt wine all over the room – including themselves.

The End

Very dissapointed...

I'm so upset!!!

I've changed my blog template by mistake and now I'm not happy with the one I got :-(

It doesn't look very different, I know, but it isn't the same though... my counter disappeared and now I can't figure out how to put the new one. Apparently I did, but it doesn't change from 2 visitors...

Maybe I haven't had more than two visitors...?

I'm upset. I find the other template easier to use...

I'm pissed off at you blog!!!

I'm sooo excited!!!

This coming weekend is a long weekend in Australia as on Monday, the 11th is a public holiday celebrating the Queen’s Birthday (I don’t think it’s her birthday, but that’s how the holiday is called…don’t ask, I don’t have a bloody Queen!! Couldn’t care less…). Every State is on holiday except Western Australia…poor people!! That might be because they don’t give a rat’s to the Queen, just like myself. But at least I get the day off, hee hee hee…

Anyway, I’m going aawwwwaaaayyyy!!!!!!!!! HORRAY!!!!!! Come on people, be excited for me!!! I’m going to Stanthorpe, the coolest place in Queensland. I can’t wait!!! Stanthorpe is also Queensland’s wine capital.

I’m going with three other girlfriends, and I reckon we’ll have a blast. Drink heaps, heaps and heaps of wine, eat like pigs, visit nice places, freeze our butt’s off and have a good laugh.

The plan is wineries and lavender farms visits (how beautiful that must be??), maybe some bush walking in the National Park and some very posh dining. It’s also going to be interesting as this adventures team consists of a talkative Brazilian (myself), a black Malaysian (I love calling her black!! She hates it!! hee hee hee), an exhausted Swiss after 500 hundred hours of work and exams, and a lovely Peruvian. It’s definitely going to be a good mix of positive energy and backgrounds.

I’ve been counting the days for this trip. I’m very excited for the driving (as I selected myself to be the designated driver – very democratic!!!), as it is one of my favourite things to do in this whole world. I’m also very excited for the cold weather. I know it’s a bit weird, but it’s nice to do something different sometimes. And I’m never in places that cold. Just picture me around the wood fire, with the other gals drinking a beautiful and yummy wine having a joint…ops!!!! Did I say that???? Please ignore it, that’s meant to be censured…I’m gonna have FUN-AHN!!!!

In another note, I just have to ask you one thing. Have you ever cried because you love someone soooooo much and you’re soooooo happy because that person is yours??? I thought so!!! So have I…

Have a fabulous long weekend people.

Not you Western Australians...



Aahh dear, I’m in a good mood today...

Beijos people.

The Dream

I had a dream last night that I’d like to understand. I always believed that dreams have meanings, and they illustrate something that you’ve been thinking of, or something that has been sitting somewhere in the back of you mind…

But before I tell you about the dream, I just have to share some background information. My mind in the last 10 months ish has been quite busy worrying about things that have been happening in Brazil, as in, with my family and stuff. I’ve mentioned here (can’t remember the post) that mum has had depression, and as she is the most important person in my life (along side – a touch ahead - with my babe), this worries me heaps.

After two years going through that hell, she seems to be better now. Mum had always been a strong woman, the balance and strength of the family. When she ‘fell’, I feel that the whole family went down with her… soon after she got depressed, my parents separated, my granddad passed away, my brother’s girlfriend fell pregnant unexpectedly, and now, to make everything better (yeah, right!), my brother and his partner decided to barely speak to my mum, and ignore her as much as possible. I find this ironic, considering my brother and his girlfriend pretty much lived at my parents’ place 24/7 before all that happened. Every time I used to go home for holidays, she was there, as part of the family. I have nothing against her, and we kinda get along well. But what upsets me is the fact that mum always, always did EVERYTHING for her, and always made sure my brother and her were well together, and since she’s had the baby, she moved out of my parents’ place and moved back to her parents’ with the baby. Her and my brother have been ignoring mum, not turning up for gatherings at mum’s place, being rude to mum in the phone etc.

So, if you can get the picture, I’m sure you’d sympathise with mum. She’s a super mum!!! I really feel sorry for her, after everything she’s done for my brother and myself, she’s been totally neglected. I know there are things she could do to make her life better and more independent, but I still think that nothing justifies the way my brother has been treating her. I don’t want to be here either judging him nor criticising his behaviour. I’m just so disappointed that mum has been feeling really lonely and neglected by her son, and she’s very hurtful that he’s has changed so much into someone so distant and careless toward her.

Now, the dream!!! Mum and I were paid to stand on the top of a tree. This tree was soooo high, sooo high that the view from the top, where we were, was the same as of the one from a flying airplane. You know when you’re up there in the sky and you can see the tiny, tiny, little houses??? (Don’t ask him why we got paid to do that or why we agreed to do something sooo scary. It was a dream for God’s sake!!). So, I’m a up there, standing on this tiny tree branch and mum is on another one next to me. I remember being sooooo scared, and even through my sleep I could feel the fear in my stomach. My biggest fear was of mum falling of the tree rather than myself. I couldn’t handle that anymore and I told mum we had to leave, and she calmly said: “Let’s get back inside.” I didn’t even know there was an inside, but I was glad when we got there, and I felt safe.

I woke up still feeling afraid and unprotected. I’ve been feeling very confused with this whole weird situation happening back in Brazil. I love my mum, more than anything in this whole world. But I also love my brother. I’m also very proud of the man he has become in terms of his professional life. He’s very intelligent, competent, responsible and hard working. I’m also sure he’s a wonderful father. But I’m sooo disappointed with how he’s has become this man without feelings, so stubborn and so angry at life. Actually, that’s how I feel at the moment; he has been angry at life. I wish he’d talk to mum, talk to me!!! But he chooses to be rude, yell and say I know nothing about anything. I REALLY don’t want to judge him, or say his all wrong!! He’s been trough a lot, I’m sure. But he’s hard to reach, and all I can think of at the moment is this whole mess happening at home and I’m here.

I need to go…home!!!

Man, I must be bored!!!!

Here I go again... I found this site from someone's blog and I love it!! I'm addicted now...

It has all those stupid tests that you can do when you have nothing else better... (that's me!!!!!)

Your Birthdate: March 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined. Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation. Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you. You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively. Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness Your power color: Navy blue Your power symbol: Shield

I don't entirely agree with this. A few things are really true, like
"You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined" and "You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively".

Not sure about "Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness"... me stubborn??? NO WAY!!!!!!!! But honestly, I reckon I'm not stubborn, I just have a strong personality. I'm very happy to change my mind if someone convinces me that my point isn't all the right... this is just a difficult task, that's all ;-)

Have a fabulous day!!

Beijos!!

Loser test...

... I reckon I've got nothing better to do with my life





Click in the icon to try it out yourself...

Beijos!!!

I’m not Indian!!!

I think people in Australia struggle to understand that. For them, if you have olive (black) skin and dark hair, you’re Indian. I reckon people here need to travel overseas, and see a bit more of the World out there…

Me, Indian??? I promise I have no problems with Indian people. In fact, most of my dearest friends in Australian are Indian. I can’t wait to visit their country, learn about their culture, eat their food and everything. But I’m not Indian!!! How hard is it to see???? Brazilian people have that thing about them that you can see from miles… the tight jeans (you can’t even fart in them), the huge earrings, a bit (read a lot) of skin showing, the ‘ginga’, meaning the way you move, walk, dance etc. I reckon I have all that, but people here don’t get it. They insist on calling me Indian.

Even the Indians themselves bloody get me confused. Every 7 Eleven I enter in Brisbane, there is an Indian attendant that soon or later will flirt with me thinking I’m Indian. They come like “So, where are you from?”, or when I’m buying phone cards to call Brazil “What country are you calling to with this card?”, or straight to the point: “Are you Indian?”. For fuck sake: I’M NOT INDIAN!!!!

Now, you think I’m being a drama queen and I hate Indians more than anyone else in this whole World. I promise I have no problems whatsoever with Indians. As mentioned before, I have heaps and heaps of Indian friends. But what upsets me the most is not the fact that people get me confused with Indians, but the fact that people don’t get that I’m Brazilian. I’m a proud Brazilian, and one of the things I love the most about my culture is the Brazilian energy, the identity, is the “I can see Brazilian from miles away”... If people think I’m Indian, it means that I don’t have that Brazilian energy. And that’s what upsets me. People could get me confused with anyone other nation and I’d still feel the same way… it’s all about me not looking Brazilian, something that I’m so proud of.

I thought I might share here photos of beautiful Indian women, and there are sooo many out there, just to prove that there are no hard feelings. Enjoy it!!!!

Two weeks later….

I was interviewed by the greatest RSG, but I’ve been a bit slack so I hadn’t posted my answers till now. Also, I don’t have a computer at home that I can call my own (I know, I’m very ancient!!!), so I have to wait until I’m not that busy at work to post something…sorry!!

So, let’s go to the questions…

1. If you could trade places with any person living today, who would it be?

To be honest, I’d love to have a lot of money. I mean lots and lots of it. Who doesn’t?? So I could say that I’d love to trade places with any rich person. However, I think there is no money in the world that could by the beautiful mother I have, the most generous and charming man I have, the big, complicated and hilarious family I have, the most sincere, funny and crazy friends I have, all the experiences I’ve been through. Money helped me, for sure, to achieve many things, but I can’t give all the credit to it. I think that sometimes I nag about my life, but I have to admit I’m very grateful for everything I’ve been through and for everyone who has been with me in different steps of my journey.

Maybe I could trade places for a month with anyone who lives in Brazil so that I could visit my family…but I guess all I need to do is buy an air ticket and do it as myself…:-)

2. If you could solve one of the world's major problems, which one would it be?

I really don’t know if I’m being selfish, but I’d start with the violence and corruption in Brazil. I absolutely LOVE my country, and I’m a very proud Brazilian. Our country has great potential but it has been distracted with the civil war that has taken over our land. We have millions and millions of people starving to death, homeless, with diseases, all those sad things…but the government is still taking the money that belongs to the nation to build hospitals, schools, better roads, and investing it all in their pockets. I wish we had a government that really cared about the Brazilian people. I do believe that the violence in Brazil may have started due to the lack of care from the government towards its people. It’s all linked together…

3. What one number would you put all of your money on, if you had to, playing roulette?

I like 9 a lot. When I used to play volleyball, 9 used to be my number (in the t-shirt). I’ve always liked 9.

4. What is the first thing you notice about someone that you find attractive?

I don’t really go for looks. I think a person to be attractive needs to have “that thing”. I don’t really know what “that thing” is, but for sure some people don’t have it… I guess that is sex appeal, maybe. They gotta have a charm in the way they walk, they way they look at you, they way they express themselves…I’m attracted to a person’s energy rather than their looks. They gotta be confident and intrigue me… But can I tell you a secret??? Although I really, really don’t care for looks, my boyfriend is definitely the hottest ever. I reckon he’s a cross between my old favourite Antonio Banderas and Richard Gere. Oh boy, he’s hot…tssss…

5. What is one thing that no one really knows about you?

I’m a very honest person, you see. I try to be as transparent as possible. However, I do believe I must have little secrets that people might not know about. I can’t think of anything at the moment, but if I did, I wouldn’t tell you, would I??? It’s a secret!!!!

That is heaps of fun!!! But now I’ll go back to my journalistic side (that almost never existed!!) and ask you a few questions. If you wish to join in and play, it’s fun!! I’ll write the question below and if you like to participate, just write them in your blog with the answers…

1. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
2. What do you most love and hate about your best friend?
3. What would you like to change for ever on you partner/ex-partner?
4. Who would you turn gay/straight for and why? (That I took from Rove McManus)
5. What makes you want to disappear?

Come on...participate...
Beijos!!!

My day started…

Not very well today.

I’m in the bus in this man in his early 40s sits right next to me. Five minutes later he says:

Man: “What I beautiful day!”

I look up to the sky through the bus window not very enthusiastic, and say:

I: “Umhhum…” but I think: “Duhhh!!! Your imbecile, we’re in Queensland, the Sunshine State!!! Every-single-day is fucking beautiful. If you’re going to use a pick up line to someone young enough to be your daughter at least use your age as an advantage and say something mature!!!” WTF???

In this same note, as in, how my day started, I had a dream with my ex-boyfriend. Don’t get excited!! It wasn’t anything juicy at all (Thank God!!!). We’re only friends. It could have been anyone else…

Back to the dream; we were having a phone conversation, him in Brazil and I was here (Australia). I was telling him how I’m soooo homesick. How I’ve been worried about things that have been happening in Brazil with my family, I miss everyone, I miss my culture, my summer, I wish I had met my nephew already, and I’m missing out on seeing him growing up etc. And he said:

He: “You’re doing all that because of a man????”

I: “Yeah, but I love him…(shit!!!). But that’s right, I’m doing all that because of man…”

What is this supposed to mean???

Today I think I’m bitter, angry, confused, impatient, sad and very, very, very FAT!!!

I hope you, out there, are having a better day…

It was Magical

A magical moment happened to me last week. I promise it isn’t exaggeration. It was bloody magical!!!

Last Wednesday was a public holiday here in Australia, so Sharon and Ash (two lovely, lovely friends!! The only problem is that she’s black hahahahahahahah. I’m sooooo NOT racist, and I’m even darker than her, but she hates when people call her black, so I do it on purpose!! Sorry, back to the story…) came to pick me up and their tiny tinny (I like this combination of words) outside my place. I know, I know, I know… very posh!!! I live right in front of the river (off the topic again…)!!!

Ok, we are in the tiny tinny going up the Brisbane River. Apparently there are sharks in this river (as well as any other place in Australia where there is water. I always look inside the toilet before sitting down, just in case… hahahhahahhahha – I’m feeling sooo funny today!! Paulinha, tell the fucking story!!!). And as you know, I’m petrified of sharks. So we’re appreciating the view, the pelicans flying and landing on the river, other boats…there are heaps of cool stuff in the Brisbane River. Every now and then we saw something very, very interesting and Ash would slow down the engine so we could talk about it. The day was going very well until we stopped again…

Ash: Oh, oh, oh, look, look, look!!!!

Sharon and I: Where, what, what, what??? (I was going WTF??? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT??? I was a bit worried/scared for a split second)

Ash: A turtle

I: (sigh) Where???

Sharon: Where???

Ash: There…

Five seconds later people, five seconds only later I see this fin and then a fucking massive, mother fucker fish merging in the water…

I: OOOWWWW MMMYYYY GOOODDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! OOWWW MY GOD!!! It’s a FREAKING FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER shark.

Then I realised it was a dolphin…

I: OOOOWWWWW MMMYYY GOOOODDDDD!!!!! It’s a cute, cute dolphin, AAAHHHHHH!!!!! It’s gonna turn the boat, it’s gonna turn the boat!!!

Ash: SHUT THE FUCK UP woman!!!! Why the fuck is he gonna do that (Ash, always soooo patient!!)??

I: I dunno, I dunno, I’m scared, I’m scared!!!

Sharon: This is beautiful, beautiful, oh my God!!

So I came down, and started to enjoy it. He even brought a little buddy with him (I’m assuming they were guys). They spent a good ten minutes around the boat keeping us company. It was sooo beautiful and magical, despite my panic attack!!!

I really couldn’t get over this for the whole day. I really never saw something so special in my life. We reckon they followed the sound of the engine, and as we were going very slowly because we were talking, they got closer… it was magical!!!

Anyway, have a look at the photos below. It was magical!!!

Random, random…random!!!

Today the bus was late. The guy with the John Lennon’s glasses, the shorts and the snickers with socks was at the bus stop. The latin-looking lady with the “I’m going to a funeral” look was there too, with the same outfit (maybe she works in a funeral service company or something…that’s it!!). In the way to work, a lady passed out in the bus!!! Man, that was scary!!! I thought she was having a seizure or something… thank God it was something small. She was conscious a few minutes later. The lady sitting right next to me had done a first aid course so she acted pretty fast. Everything happened very quickly…I was soooooo scared!!!

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I’m very, very sad about this whole shooting in America. But what pisses me of the most is the response of the American authorities on gun reforms in the USA… The NRA (The National Rifle Association) took no responsibility once again and claimed “they didn’t pull the trigger”. Ah!! Also that “guns don’t kill people, but people kill people.” WTF????

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Yesterday I had a very, very busy day at work. I arrived a bit earlier than the usual. My boss was flying out to Sydney for a meeting and she needed this document – we call it ‘the book’. It’s massive!! – ASAP. So I worked very hard to get it to her on time, and looking good. Well, as a good employee as I am, I got it done!!! Before she left, she came into my office with this yummy brownie from next door, and gave it to me. Now, tell me if she isn’t a sweetie?!?!?!? Although she didn’t need to do that, as I was only doing my job, I still valued her gesture. I think if every boss was appreciative of his/her staff, the world would be a happier place (thank God I don’t exaggerate!!!). And I am not talking about presents or yummy brownies. I’m just talking about a ‘thank you’ occasionally. Well, by being nice to me my boss gains a lawful, dedicated and very hard-working employee. I am not saying I’ll work here forever, but that she’ll have all my respect and consideration, that’s for sure!!!

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I did something yesterday that I had never done before; I went window-shopping for a ring. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!!! I’m looking very desperate to get married. And you can make fun of me as much as you like. But I won’t deny the fact that I can’t wait to tie the knot… wha-eh-var to you!!!
PS: I didn’t find anything that I like :(

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Today is Friday, oohhhhooo!!!!!! I have biiiggg plans for tonight. I’m stopping at a video store in the way home to grab a few fun movies. Then some alcohol (a girl needs her alcohol, specially on Friday night, hehehehehe) and go home to cook myself a yummy meal before the movie marathon starts. So far the list includes: Napoleon Dynamite, Zorro (Antonio Bandeiras is the hottest!!), maybe Pride & Prejudice and a few I’ll find in the way. Oh! I might throw a few Sopranos episodes there. I’m looking forward to it!!!

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I’ve been avoiding to call home (Brazil) for the last five days. In the last eight months, 80% of the time that I did call, I got depressed afterwards. I’m getting very sick of it. I just can’t handle this anymore…

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My car (read my babe's car) is dead!!! It's going to cost a very lousy eleven hundred dollars...bbbuuaaaaaa bbbuuuaaaaa...(that's my pocket crying!!!)

Letter to the father

“Dad,

I know you aren’t a terrible person. In fact I think you are a good guy!!! I just think you’ve forgotten to be a good son to your parents, a good husband to your (ex)wife (mum) and a good father to your kids (my brother and I).

I don’t know if I can say I hate you, because most probably I don’t. I just wish you’d listen more, and never played ‘the victim’ in every single fucking game! I wish you’d be a team player and swim in the same current to us (not sure if this metaphor makes sense…).

Why aren’t you a bit more down to earth and realise that everything you’ve built so far was together with mum. And without her, you’d have done fuck all??? Why don’t you face your responsibilities and problems instead of always saying “Don’t tell me your problems, I’ve got enough to worry about already”???

Don’t you see that all you’ve been doing your whole life is push people away from you and hurt the people who most care about you??? I’m soooo tired of being disappointed by you. I just can’t handle this anymore!!!! When the fuck are you going to grow up???

Please, note one thing. MONEY is very good, but it isn’t all!!! My brother and I would rather a stable, responsible and caring father than a rich one!!

I’m also tired of the old bullshit “I work for my kids”, because by not accepting criticism and always getting pissed off if we make any suggestions prove that you don’t mean it. Do you really???

I wish you'd also leave this stupid pride aside and get back with mum. Not because I can’t live with separated parents or she’s desperate in love with you – a) I don’t live with my parents and b) mum is better off without you – but because we all know that she’s your balance and the brain of the relationship. Without her I’m sure you’ll end up giving your money (read my inheritance) to the first little bitch you come across.

Again, I’d like to say that I don’t hate you, I just don’t see you as a father. I know we have fun together, and we laugh at each other jokes, and you’re a very pleasant person to be around…but… (sigh)!!! I wish I could figure out what you mean to me and how I feel about you…

All I can think about at the moment is that you make me sad and you make me cry…”

GET UP!!!!

It’s 7.20am and I’m getting the lift down to go to work. I walk up to the bus stop standing 50m away from me. I wait for another 5 minutes before the bus pulls over and collect a few of us passengers. Together with me, there is a guy who everyday is reading his book (I still don’t know which one that is), carrying his laptop bag on one shoulder, wearing his totally-out-of-fashion John Lennon’s sunnies, a pair of brown snickers, with grey socks and cargo shorts. The top is always short-sleeves checked shirt and the haircut is the same as the one my granddad had when he married my grandmother late 40s.

The short lady is there as well. She’s there everyday with us waiting for the bus. It’s always the three of us waiting. Sometimes we have other visitors… back to the lady. She looks very South American to me. Not really Brazilian, but she has a Venezuelan, Peruvian appearance to her. She wears the black skirt and jacket, with a black top inside – the “I’m going to a funeral” look. I wonder how she manages the Queensland heat under this outfit. She always has shit loads of make up on, a very big pair of sunglasses and very long (read ugly) fake nails. She always wears this open-back black shoes and a gold anklet. Bad, bad taste!!!

We get in the bus and that’s how my radar gets even more critical. I admit with no fear I’m a people’s watcher. I watch and observe every step, fashion sense (or non-sense) and behaviour. My favourite topic? EVERYTHING that involves people. And one thing has been in the back of my mind during my trips back and forth work. When should you stand up to give others your seat??? My mum always told me as a child to stand up for older people. Being a child, I almost didn’t have a seat, as pretty much every one taking public transport was older than me. Mum used to sit me and her lap so others could sit down.

I honestly don’t know if this was right or wrong by her, but I can’t help to agree with her, and I think the same way nowadays. I think that if you have a young child, you should make them stand up to let an adult sit down. Kids are full of energy and they don’t really do much, let’s face it. So they should either stand or maybe sit down on your lap. And I promise that it has nothing to do with them paying a cheaper fair than adults.

Also, I have to say it; adults should get up for elderly people. That’s how the cycle works. You get up for the one older than you. It drives me NUTS how everyday there is at least an older person standing in the bus while the pretty looking latest fashion queen and the bloody classy walking suit with Gucci sunnies (because that’s all they’re; an expensive look with nothing in the head!!) sit down looking pretty. Now you may ask, why don you get up??? Well, well my friend, I do every single time, when I can. But sometimes I’m right in the end of the bus and the older person is right at the front… I can’t yell out “oh, you!! Do ya wanna sit??”, can I??? But the princess and the walking suit are right there in front of the standing elderly, sitting right below the “RESERVED SEAT FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE” bloody sign, they can.

I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. Where is the respect?? Isn’t that enough that older people are already discriminated in the workplace, or neglected by their families, or struggle as it is with people trying to rip them off, they are physically disadvantages, and people still want them to stand up on the bloody bus?!?!??!?!? That, my friend, I don’t get!!!

The other day the bus was soooo packed and I spotted this guy – he wasn’t that old but just old enough to be offered a seat. He was very far from me so I couldn’t offer him the seat. And no one offered it either. As the bus was getting fuller, he kept walking towards the end of the bus and I was hoping he’d get closer to me. When he finally did, I offered him the seat and he was so appreciative of my gesture. He thanked me when I stood up, and again before I got off the bus. I was happy for that fella for having someone to offer him a bloody seat.

So think next time when you’re in a public transport, if maybe you should get up for someone who needs that seat more than you do.

Desperate hoping-to-be-housewife...

Oh dear!! It has been a while… so many things happening (or maybe things I’ve been hoping to happen) at the moment that I haven’t written a chapter in my book for a long time…

I’ve been missing a lot having this book to write whatever I feel like…so many things to say, so many thoughts mixed together, and I don’t even know where to start.

When I started writing this chapter, a-minute-and-a-half ago, I was going to write about my daily bus trip to work. This is a story that has been going through my mind for a while now, but this will have to wait for next time as I feel like writing about something else…Ok, enough!!!! Straight to the point!!!

You know when you have a great partner, a great job (not perfect, just great!!), great friends, nice home, you’ve been saving money, all these good stuff??? Yeah!!! Welcome to my world, that’s me at the moment!!! But I’ve been feeling soooo empty lately!! Kind of incomplete!!!

Marriage is a topic that has been hunting me, for some reason, for the last 6 months or so. I always wanted to get married, I always wanted the commitment, the party, the honeymoon, the new home together, and when I met my babe, I knew he was the one!!! I left Brazil when I was only a baby (excuse me, 18 is a baby!!!), and I decided to not go back to my beautiful country (full of issues nonetheless, beautiful!!!) so I could be with that amazing man I had met somewhere in a crazy bar in London.

Well, things haven’t changed there. I’m still very much in love with that man, but I just feel like I’m ready, you know??? As this marriage conversation keeps coming towards my direction, more I think that maybe it’s my turn now. I feel that it’s time to be ‘us’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘him’.

And the crazy thing is that this thought has been taking all my mind-free time. If I am not doing anything, that’s all I think about… and this is actually driving me insane, and very upset as well. Insane because I don’t want to be the pushy girlfriend, but upset because I wonder if he actually wants to marry me ever.

The thing is, I don’t want to have to ask him or push or force him to do anything. I want this to come naturally, because he chooses to, and that’s what he also wants, rather than because I said so, you know?? But we’ve been together for 6 years, what else is he waiting for?? I don’t want to wait forever, in fact I don’t want to wait for another month, even!!!

I feel that my life is on hold at this stage waiting for him to make a decision. And that, I absolutely HATE!!! I’m a girl with her own opinion and I hate depending on people. But yeah, I think that’s why I feel empty; because I’m in that stage of my life that I need to take a step forward. And I really want it to be with him. I just need to know if he wants it or not, and if it is ‘not’, I guess I’ll have to take that step forward by myself and move on. Maybe go back home??? I actually have been thinking about that for a while as well. There is no point of being away from my family and culture if I am not going to be with my babe.

Why are guys so bloody difficult and undecided??? Why do women always have to push them for them to make a move??? Why all they think about is their jobs, and that bringing money and being the provider is doing a lot??? That’s soooo annoying…. And I also hate how this chapter makes me sound like a desperate hoping-to-be-housewife…not quite housewife, but you get the picture. So…enough!!!

I think I like Valentine’s Day…

Happy belated Valentine’s Day everyone!!! I had a fabulous, fabulous day yesterday. I know heaps of people reckon that Valentine’s Day sucks. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it either. And as I had a lovely day yesterday, I’m giving the credit to Mr Valentine…

So I just quickly tell you what happened yesterday (bullet point – I like that if you haven’t noticed, so shut up and read it!);

· Woke up, got ready and left home to go to work at the same time as usual. Took the City Cat (public transport – catamaran – that crosses the Brisbane River) instead of the bus. Because it’s such a pleasant way to get to work, everyone takes the City Cat in the morning. Result: 4 City Cats came by my stop but none actually stopped as they were absolutely full. I arrived at work an hour late. But I managed to keep myself very calm and I didn’t let it spoiled my day. I was in a bloody good mood!!!!

· As soon as I arrived at work, I had a quick chat to my lovely, lovely boss about my late arrival. She thought it was really funny. She’s great!!! Anyway, as I was in a good mood, I talked to her about changing my work title as the previous one wasn’t really make a good impression as well as I currently have better responsibilities than what the old title suggested. She nodded and gave me the thumbs up for the change. This is great, as I feel more appreciated, I’m a happier employee and I produce better… very smart move from her. And she didn’t even have to spend a buck to make me happy. Good on her for let me do it. In the same topic, I also changed my name. Oops!!! I hope it doesn’t sound too weird. Well, we both have the same name, so I suggested that I should be called Paulinha, instead of Paula. That’s a nickname given to me by family and friends, and I’d love to have people at work calling me that. She also gave me the thumbs up for that. So I created a new identity yesterday at work. The funniest thing is that I got heaps and heaps of phone calls from the staff at work asking how to pronounce it… they’ll get used to it.

· Next thing. I got a call from a very lovely lady saying that she wants to learn Portuguese (my first language). How cool is that?? I’ll get paid to chat to her a few hours a week. Extra money for me to shop!!! WORREY!!!!

· My arvo was ok. Nothing overly special. So let’s fast-forward it to dinner.

· Boyfriend, seafood pasta, Mad Fish (one of my favourite white wines), a movie, and a beautiful pair of black shoes given to me by my babe. We had such a lovely night.

Now, I’d like to say something in regards to Valentine’s Day. People bitch about it, saying that it’s too commercial. I think it’s a very fair comment. But I don’t think it has to be that way at all. I think Valentine’s Day can be a great idea. I think it’s another encouragement to people to do or make something extra special for their loved ones. I know, I know, you might say, but you can do this everyday that you want. But let’s be honest here, in this crazy world we live in nowadays, it’s a bit hard to be romantic. So, I’m glad I celebrated Valentine’s Day yesterday. And I hope to have a special day like that every year from now on.

Well, I hope you all had a special day yesterday. Happy belated Valentine’s Day

'I bitch' continues...

A moment after I posted the previous post, I thought I might have a biiiggg bitch about myself and write down 10 things that are very bad about my personality.
It should be fun (yeah, right)!!!

1. I hate my anxiety. I make plans for everything months in advance, and most of the time I can’t sleep until the occasion comes. Imagine how well I usually sleep??? My baby gets angry with me because I annoy him waiting for answers to things that won’t happen for at least three months. He thinks I’m crazy!

2. I can’t say ‘no’ to people. This is something that actually drives me crazy about my personality. I always try to please everyone, I always try to solve everyone’s problems, I always try to assure everyone is happy and looked after, and many, many times I get fucked (excuse my language!) because of it. I hate, hate, hate, hate when I change my plans to adjust with someone else’s, and they call off or they choose to do something else instead. IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!!

3. I’m a very, very neurotic person!! I don’t really know what is the best way to explain this. Just read the link and you’ll understand it!

4.I don’t think I’m stubborn, but I have a very strong personality. I’m always open for discussion but if your point isn’t too convincing, tough luck!!! It’s just that I have my beliefs and it might be hard to convince me they’re wrong. I can imagine how annoying this can be for someone who is trying to get in agreement with me…

5.Because I like to articulate my opinion, and I might do it straight to the point, heaps of people think I’m rude. They might be right, I don’t know! I just know that whenever I feel comfortable (it might be often!), I say what I think!!!

6. People say I’m fiery. Ok, I’m fiery…

7. I take everything personally. If someone is rude to me, I think it’s my fault. I never think that it might be a possibility that they are stupid people and have issues… it is a huge floor in my personality. It affects my personal and professional life.

8. I hate that I have a very weird relationship with my dad. I hate that despite my anger towards him, and the fact that I despise 85% of the things he does, I still treat him very nicely every time I speak to him. It makes me feel very weak and powerless.

9. I can talk, I can talk and I can talk. My boyfriend says that very often I keep talking around, around and never get to the point… it’s boring!!! I hate when people do that, but I do it myself :(

10. I can bitch, I can bitch and I can bitch!!! See here

That would be great if you could also write down the list of things you hate about yourself or maybe someone else… come on, have a bitch!!!