Stupid Bureaucracy

My Brazilian drivers licence expired late October, so I’ve been in the process of getting my Queensland one. Man, I’ve never seen so much bullshit in my whole life. To start with, because I’m Brazilian, and Brazil is not a first world country (that isn’t what they say, but I KNOW!!!), I have to go through the same process is a person who has never driven before. So I have to do a written test to get a learners licence and if I pass I can book the driving test to get the permit licence. And you may be asking “but the traffic in Brazil is in the other side of the road comparing to the Australian”. Good point!! But the Americans, or Swiss or Canadians (the first world countries), they all drive in the same side of the road as Brazil, but yet they don’t need to go through all the hassle that we do (fucking racists!!!).

Now, listen to this crap!!! If I DIDN’T have a licence at all, I would walk there (to the Transport Department) and say:

Me: “Hi, I’m here for a written test”.
Bitch (she is the bitch who assisted me): “Great! Can I please have 2 IDs, proof of address and 17 bucks, thanks?”

Then I’d do the fucking test and if I passed they’d take a picture and give me the licence straight away.

But because I have a Brazilian licence, the nightmare starts. First of all, I have to have it translated by a reputable institution that they choose. However, even if I have this perfect translation I still can’t drive in Australia for more than three months with the Brazilian licence (even if it hadn’t expired!). The thing is, I don’t have this fucking translation. But who cares, I thought that as a resident of Australia I have the fucking right to go to this fucking Transport Department and just do the test. If I pass, I should sit my ass in the chair, taking a picture and piss off with my stupid learners licence.
But NOOOOOOOOOOO, that isn’t what happens in this country. After I passed the test, that’s what happened:

Bitch: “Can I please have you Brazilian licence with the appropriate translation?”
Me: “Why?”
Bitch: “Because you have a licence already so I can only give you the learners if you give me you Brazilian licence with the appropriate translation”.
Me: “WWWHHHHAAAATTTT????????????? So, what would have happened if I arrived here and said I had no licence at all, would you give me my learners now???”
Bitch: “Yes!”
Me: “WWWWHHHHHHAAAAATTTTT??????”
Bitch: “But you chose to be honest so now you get fucked as you won’t get you licence until you bring me a proper fucking translation of you useless Brazilian licence that you aren’t allowed to use in this country anyway. So, by the end of the day, your useless Brazilian licence is only useful to put you in trouble and make your life in Australia hell!!!!!”
Me: “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That’s a very loud scream)”

I mean, the last part of the conversation I came up with. The bitch didn’t really say that but it is exactly what the deal is. My Brazilian licence is not an advantage when I want to use it here. However, when it is absolutely unnecessary, they decide that my licence is the major element for me to get an Australian licence.

Man, it drove me mental!!! I love driving. That’s the thing I most love in this whole world. But now I have to wait until I get my licence translated to get a learners licence that I’d have gotten if I didn’t have a Brazilian licence at the first place.

Sometimes I hate this country….