Today I'm feelig blah!!!

In fact, I’ve been felling blah for the last four days. Honestly, I have not a clue why the hell I feel that way.

Since my HUGE shopping spree, I’ve been feeling kinda empty… What the hell???? Shopping used to be my best therapy, and the more I spent, the happier I got. Although, in these old days, it used to be mum’s money we were shopping with, not mine!!!!

There are sooo many good things happening with me at the moment and I’m steel feeling that way. Please God, tell me how to fix this blah feeling in my heart…

I thought that maybe a useful strategy for me to feel better would be sharing with you the good things that have been happening with me lately. So here I go (bullet point is easier for me to organise my thoughts and I guess it keeps the blog dynamic, so don’t complain, shut up and like it!):

• Today is my last day at my ‘glamorous’ job. As I said a few times, the problem isn’t the place but the boring role. Anyway, my workmates have told me they were very happy to have me around and they really wish me the best. I had people calling me from the Melbourne office (people I’ve never met before but I used to work with via phone/email all the time) to wish all the best and thank me for my help and efficiency (see???? I’m a good worker!!! To you all suckers who chose not to employ me when you had the chance).

• I have a new job where I’ll start on Monday. It isn’t EXACTLY the job I’ve been dying for but I think it’ll be very challenging, busy and it’ll teach me a lot. Well, that’s what it looks like and that’s what I’m hoping for…

• I spoke to my mum last night, and for a loooooong time I hadn’t heard her voice being so lively and happy (I’ve told you before my mum has been depressed for two years). She sounded soooo great, just like in the old times!!! I’m sure she isn’t 100%, but I think she’s much, much better… I MISS her like fucking hell!!!!!!

• My boyfriend is getting admitted to become a solicitor (I’ve told you this too), after five bloody years of Law studies. Oh dear, I’m glad he has survived to this boring, long and difficult journey. I’m so proud of him and his efforts. I’m also proud of the man he is and proud of myself for hooking up with someone so beautiful, supportive (even with my shopping) and gentle!!!! Love you bebe!!!

• My future lovely father-in-law (hopefully), gave me a trip to Melbourne for X-Mas (air fares and accommodation). So babe, his dad (future father-in-law, hopefully again!!) and I are spending five days shopping, pigging our ass off, drinking and watching cricket (that isn’t really the highlight of the trip in my opinion but that’s a different story…). It should be a blast!!!

You see!?!?!?!??!?! These are all good things that have been happening in my life at the moment and I still feel very, very shitty… but why???? I feel soooo lonely even though this week I went out for dinner with a new friend, got drunk and danced Brazilian music (many may not find that as interesting as I do, but…) under the full moon. Even though my babe has been very patient with me for the last few days after I screamed at him. Even though my beautiful best friend cooked a yummy salad for me during my lunch break today. Even though all these good things are around me, I still feel blah, shitty and lonely.

AND THAT’S NOT FUCKING PMT!!!!!! Don’t say that, I know it looks like it but it can’t be because my period is coming only in two weeks time. AND THAT’S TOO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION ALREADY!!!!

You see?!?!??!? What’s going on here??? Sorry about the shouting but I need to let it out. Please someone help me out of this shit…