The thing about Christmas!

In the last few days I’ve been very, very homesick. I’ve been missing my mum and my grandad the most. And I think as Christmas approaches, I miss them even more! Last night after a few failed attempts to sleep, I decided to call my mum to tell her how much I love her. Two hours later, I managed to say NOTHING!!!! I wish I could call my grandad to say I love him, but he has gone for a year and a bit now… but that’s all ok!!!

Well, I really want to use this post to say how I really feel about Christmas. And just to let you know, I’m writing this now under the influence of three pints of beer and half a bottle of wine, so I don’t know what you might read here…

Anyway, the topic is Christmas!!! I reckon that Christmas is good and bad. When I was very young, I used to LOOOOVE Christmas. Every year we used to have the party at my grandparents – our house. My mum and dad didn’t really have money to buy our own house, so I used to live with my grandparents, my uncle (mum’s brother), mum, dad and my brother. It used to be a bloody mess!!! But I always loved it!!!

My grandad was a very generous man, and I think I was his sweet heart (I don’t like to play favourites but my uncle’s favourite was my brother so I guess I can say without remorse I was my grandpa’s favourite one). Every year we used to have a fabulous HUGE Christmas party and he used to buy me heaps of cool presents. We always had a great feast, hundreds and hundreds of presents and all the relatives used to come over. Man, that used to be the highlight of my whole bloody year. My grandad was ok with money at that stage, so presents were in excess. I was very young, so I can’t deny that it was all I thought about…and after all, everyone seemed to always be having a ball as the food was great, the whole family was there and everyone got presents. That used to be the time when Christmas was bloody fantastic!!!

As the time went by, money became an issue. My grandad was having a few financial problems (as everyone always does in Brazil – a part from the corrupted politicians, which is another story). So the X-Mas parties weren’t that crowded anymore. There weren’t that many presents anymore. And being a young girl, for me that was a shock!!! All of a sudden Christmas didn’t seem to be that great anymore. And I have to say that it is too embarrassing. But that’s exactly how I felt. And I won’t ever forget the day that instead of having 40 relatives in my house for Christmas, there were only the seven of us. That was maybe one of the saddest times of my life!!! So that’s when Christmas started to suck for me…

After that year, I cried a week prior Christmas every year without stoping. I didn’t know exactly the reason for the tears. And now that I don’t care about the presents, I think that I cried not because of the lack of money to buy presents, but because I realised that the relatives that I loved so much weren’t going to spend that special night with me. I realised that Christmas wasn’t about all those presents. Christmas was about having the family together laughing together, joking about each other, having that smile in my grandad’s face because the house was full of people…

Nowadays I still feel that Christmas is kinda sad. And, even though my grandad isn’t here anymore, he still plays a HUGE part in my Christmas. But not for the present, but for the happiness he brought into my heart all the time he lived!!!!
Well, I think that’s the thing about Christmas. It’s good and bad. It’s happy and sad. It’s family and individual time. So that’s how I feel.

I miss my family sooo much, and Christmas is kinda of important to me.

Sorry about the melancholic post. But that’s the thing about Christmas…

Merry Christmas!!!!

Quick note!

Hi, hi!!! I’ve been missing sooo much sitting in a chair and spending my whole day reading blogs. Oh yeah!!!! Believe me, after I started my new job I haven’t had much time to visit you guys. I’m sorry!!!

Well, but as I was saying, I started my new job this week and it has been so much fun. I don’t think I should be giving you many details about it for a few reasons (which don’t include you, I promise!!!), but I’d like to say that so far so great!!! I love the team and the environment, and I think it’s just in the perfect industry for me. And it seems like I’ll be as busy as hell very soon, just how I like it!!! It’ll be very different to my previous ‘glamorous’ job. Wish me luck!!

But before I go, I’ll just let you know what happened in my X-Mas party in my ‘glamorous’ job last Friday, which was by coincidence my last day as well. We went to a Turkish restaurant, and the food was really yummy!!! They have belly dancing performances usually in the weekends but in this time of the year, they have it more often. Anyway, the dancer goes around picking random people to dance with her. Guess who she picked???? Of course it had to be me, huh??? But that’s ok because I can be a bit of a show off sometimes and I know that shaking my ass is one of the things I know how to do best. I’m Brazilian for God's sake!!!

In the end of the night the Director made a speech to thank me for my good effort and dedication. I was pretty touched, as it was the first time someone had a speech to thank me, and I was there for only five months!!! I also had to do a speech. It was a bit weird but as I’ve just mentioned before, I’m a bit of a ‘shower’ so I didn’t really care. I actually enjoyed it!!! In the end of the night they gave me a BEAUTIFUL orchid flower. Man, that was NICE!!!! Do you know how precious and expensive orchids are??? Anyway, even if it was cheap, I love it!!! They gave me another present and a big card, where everyone signed.

Aren’t they lovely??? God bless them… I think I deserved it after all. I’m a good employee.

Well, that’s it for me. Tomorrow is the BIG day… my partner’s admission is on!!! Thank God I won’t get drunk (yeah, right!!!).

Beijos people!!!

Today I'm feelig blah!!!

In fact, I’ve been felling blah for the last four days. Honestly, I have not a clue why the hell I feel that way.

Since my HUGE shopping spree, I’ve been feeling kinda empty… What the hell???? Shopping used to be my best therapy, and the more I spent, the happier I got. Although, in these old days, it used to be mum’s money we were shopping with, not mine!!!!

There are sooo many good things happening with me at the moment and I’m steel feeling that way. Please God, tell me how to fix this blah feeling in my heart…

I thought that maybe a useful strategy for me to feel better would be sharing with you the good things that have been happening with me lately. So here I go (bullet point is easier for me to organise my thoughts and I guess it keeps the blog dynamic, so don’t complain, shut up and like it!):

• Today is my last day at my ‘glamorous’ job. As I said a few times, the problem isn’t the place but the boring role. Anyway, my workmates have told me they were very happy to have me around and they really wish me the best. I had people calling me from the Melbourne office (people I’ve never met before but I used to work with via phone/email all the time) to wish all the best and thank me for my help and efficiency (see???? I’m a good worker!!! To you all suckers who chose not to employ me when you had the chance).

• I have a new job where I’ll start on Monday. It isn’t EXACTLY the job I’ve been dying for but I think it’ll be very challenging, busy and it’ll teach me a lot. Well, that’s what it looks like and that’s what I’m hoping for…

• I spoke to my mum last night, and for a loooooong time I hadn’t heard her voice being so lively and happy (I’ve told you before my mum has been depressed for two years). She sounded soooo great, just like in the old times!!! I’m sure she isn’t 100%, but I think she’s much, much better… I MISS her like fucking hell!!!!!!

• My boyfriend is getting admitted to become a solicitor (I’ve told you this too), after five bloody years of Law studies. Oh dear, I’m glad he has survived to this boring, long and difficult journey. I’m so proud of him and his efforts. I’m also proud of the man he is and proud of myself for hooking up with someone so beautiful, supportive (even with my shopping) and gentle!!!! Love you bebe!!!

• My future lovely father-in-law (hopefully), gave me a trip to Melbourne for X-Mas (air fares and accommodation). So babe, his dad (future father-in-law, hopefully again!!) and I are spending five days shopping, pigging our ass off, drinking and watching cricket (that isn’t really the highlight of the trip in my opinion but that’s a different story…). It should be a blast!!!

You see!?!?!?!??!?! These are all good things that have been happening in my life at the moment and I still feel very, very shitty… but why???? I feel soooo lonely even though this week I went out for dinner with a new friend, got drunk and danced Brazilian music (many may not find that as interesting as I do, but…) under the full moon. Even though my babe has been very patient with me for the last few days after I screamed at him. Even though my beautiful best friend cooked a yummy salad for me during my lunch break today. Even though all these good things are around me, I still feel blah, shitty and lonely.

AND THAT’S NOT FUCKING PMT!!!!!! Don’t say that, I know it looks like it but it can’t be because my period is coming only in two weeks time. AND THAT’S TOO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION ALREADY!!!!

You see?!?!??!? What’s going on here??? Sorry about the shouting but I need to let it out. Please someone help me out of this shit…

I shopped till I dropped!!!

Hello everyone!! Today is Monday, and as a full-time worker, I have to say this isn’t my favourite day of the week. I hate to think that I still have 4 days ahead of me until I get two days off… :(

I had a great weekend though!!! My babe is getting admitted in the bar (I don’t know if that’s how you say this exactly. He’ll be admitted as a solicitor) in a week, and we are having a big party to celebrate. As I’m the first lady (ha!!!), I really want to look outstanding!! So that’s how my weekend became great!!!

I convinced him to come shoe shopping with me on Saturday, as I’ve already bought the dress for the admission party. There is this great outlet here in Brisbane, close to the airport with heaps of good brands with reduced price. Oh yeah!!!

He was super patient with the whole getting IN and OUT of every single bloody store, but as I know him sooooo well, he was getting very bored (and I think it’s fair enough!!!). Yeah, and I was getting very frustrated, as I wasn’t finding bloody anything. So an hour (only!!!) later, after a jacket and small little boring top, we decided to leave.

I was very, very frustrated as I usually go to this outlet with B, spend 3-5 hours shopping, and leave with at least 10 bags. But not Saturday, noooopppp!!! So I had to fix this problem. I still had the whole Sunday to be able to find this pair of shoes to go to the party.

I was determined to go back on Sunday, hopefully with my beautiful crime (ops!), shopping partner B, and sort this shit out!!!!

I was very excited after B agreed to come, and help me with my hunt to get a pair of shoes. B and I got up in the morning, put on our shopping gear (it consists of comfy shoes and easy to put on and take off clothes to easy the whole trying new outfits process) and we headed to the outlet. Man, it was FUN!!! We got there at 12pm and we had a quick bite to eat. Then the hunt started…4-and-a-half hours later (and a couple of hundred dollars less), I finally got the shoes for the admission party. But not only that!!! I got a perse (mine was old and almost black. It used to be red), pair of pants, a belt (red. Everyone NEEDS a red belt!), a red pair of shoes because I don’t have any (only two) like the ones I bought and a handbag. Ah!!! I also bought a X-Mas present for my babe’s auntie who I LOVE very much!!! B got a dress, two tops and a pair of red shoes as well. I’m telling you, girls NEED red shoes, belts, handbags. Red is THE colour!!!

My biggest excitement of the whole day though was when I got home. Babe was watching the Cricket (there is a very important competition happening here in Australia at the moment), and as soon as I arrived he asked me to see everything I had bought. And although I was feeling a bit shitty as I spent so much money, he was absolutely supportive of my shopping. He said I needed every single thing I bought and he loves the shoes I bought for his party. Man, I LOVE this man!!!! I feel so lucky that he always supports me but he still tells me when I’m wrong. I’m so lucky to have him!!!

That was my great weekend. By the time I got home, my back was so sore and I was exhausted!!! I definitely shopped till I dropped… in bed!!!!