One day to go...

I've just finished my shower, and before I could realize I was busting in tears. Very sad, I know! I hate seeing people crying, specially when the person crying is actually me! Now you ask, 'why??' Good one! I'm flying back to Australia in a day, and for the first time in 6 bloody years, I'm confused, confused and confused... ah!!! I'm also thorn apart.
Every time I come to Brazil for holidays, I always, always count the days to head back home, Australia that is. I'm always so excited that I can't barely sleep. I'm usually smiling away, singing (very badly), cheering, all those things that happy people do. Now, busting in tears is DEFINITELY a reaction that has never occurred to me before, a few days prior my trip back to Australia.
The past four weeks have been a bit hard for me. I hope I'm not exaggerating (that's what I usually do) but I've been really frustrated. This is the first time in Brazil that I actually see myself living back here. This is the first time that my friends ask me A LOT to come back. Maybe they've always done that and now it's the first time I hear it, I don't know. I just wonder though why this doubt? I really love Australia, and I have a life of my own there. But I wonder if the break up with my (ex)babe is telling me something. Maybe it's telling me that it's time to go home, to my real home, close to my family and roots.
But I'm scared of being weak, fragile, stupid, anxious by deciding to come back to live in Brazil. Also, what the hell do I do with the 6 years I lived away??? Stick it up mine??? Excuse my French, but I'm very sad and frustrated!!!! No one's fault, but what should I do??? It has been such a difficult decision, and I can't wait to arrive in Australia to see how I feel there, to see if I still belong there... ahhhhh God, I'm bloody confused!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry, I hope it wasn't too loud!!! But now I feel relived for sharing that with you. Thank you! OK, I gotta go because I have one more night to get on the piss here in Brazil, at least for a while, and I have to get on with it. I should be back here soon with some decisions, I hope. And some stories too.

Take care and wish me a safe flight.

I'm coming back...

Well, well, well, look who has popped in to say 'hi'... ME!!!!!!!!

I bet you thought I was caught by one of the natives in the Amazon, or was eaten alive by the piranhas, or maybe took the carnival troop around Brazil, partying very hard and drinking way too much, missing my flight back to Australia...

I'm sorry to disappoint you but nothing like that has happened, at least not yet. However, very importantly, I have experienced some things here and I do indeed have some juicy stories up my sleeve. The question to be asked is whether I'll share them with you or not...

I'll be back "Down Under" in less than 15 days, HHOOORRRAAAYYY!!!!!!! So I'll be back here then telling you some of my adventures.

I miss my book sooooo much...and you too.

Beijos and hasta la vista.