I've got so many questions that I don't even know where to start. I actually bold them so you can help me figure this shit out!!! Well, let's start with something that happened to me this week, and I almost lost my sleep over it. But before that, let me give you an introduction about my friendships. I'm a very loyal friend. I'm always there for when my friends need me or an advice, or a bit of attention, a pad on the back or even to tell them they are wrong. I'm very opened to them and I always say what I think in the best way I can to not offend them, but to open their eyes regarding any matter. Most of my friends have some characteristics similar to mine, but mainly, we are all very different. And we all respect each other, therefore there are a few things that we shouldn't even argued about, because we just think differently.
A while ago I was seeing this guy. One night we had planned to go out for drinks. I ended up inviting a couple of friends to come along. One of the girls actually came along ahead in the car with me. The other girls were coming later. When I went to pick up this guy, with her, he brought along a friend. She hadn't met neither of them at that stage, so she was VERY, VERY uncomfortable to be going out with this two guys and me, as she had a partner, and she said it didn't look good for a committed girl to be in a public place with two guys and a girlfriend. She said it looked like there were two couples. I apologised for the situation but to be honest, I didn't really think it was a big deal. Her partner has to trust her, and as long as she didn't kiss, hug or did something sexual with the guy, what was the problem??? But as I said, we are different and I just tried to respect it.
Well, this week, I went out with this same girl and two other guys. But these two guys are two of our best friends. So there wasn't a problem at all for her to be with me and two other guys in a public place then, right??? My question is, WTF????? Am I being wrong here, or maybe too liberal, or disrespectful, or stupid??? I reckon that's double standards, am I wrong?? Please point that out to me. Why can she go out looking like two couples with friends but not with her friend's date and another guy?? Because her partner will find that not good??? But shouldn't he trust her no matter what??? Why are Brazilian SO FULL OF SHIT??? I'm so sick of this crap!!! People here are full of shit!!
And let's not stop here. Please listen, I have another story and more questions. Have I told you that I'm the only single girl in my group of friends? I'm not complaining, and that's not even the point. But the question here is; if I'm going out to a bloody awesome concert, that I intend to dance heaps, DANCE ONLY (that is, no intention whatsoever to have any encounter with a guy, and I'm being honest), what's wrong with me willing to go with a friend without her boyfriend?? I mean, if she chooses to bring the boyfriend along, fine! But am I allowed to have an opinion, and that being, I'd rather to have a moment with my girlfriend without her boyfriend?? And that's not because I'm gonna take her to cheat on him (because I'm not like that, and I respect and value fidelity), but because if I want to dance with her, she won't be able to, because the boyfriend we'll be complaining. I know already the story!!
Well, I was judged this week just because I said to a friend I'd like to spend a bit of money in a concert, to go with her, if her boyfriend wasn't coming. But I said that because she said he probably wouldn't go at the first place. I have the right!! And I really like him, but not to go with for a concert to dance, that's bloody all!!
I'm just so sad that this girlfriend of mine, who know me so well, and know that I don't encourage, in fact I don't like infidelity, still make me feel like the "SINGLE girl - the CURSE". Just because I don't think men are the only reason to live, and I'm not the conventional type, it doesn't mean that I'll destroy every relationship in the world neither encourage my friends to disrespect their partners. And this friend is one who knows me well and know all that!!!
I'm starting to wonder if I'm really a freak who will never find someone because I'm way too open mind, and because I believe in relationships that do not function based ONLY AND EXCLUSIVELY on what society dictates is a good behaviour for women. Please, gimme answers!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
you'll find the perfect guy for you. being open-minded is an attractive virtue, not a ticket to spinsterhood.
as for your friend meeting the stranger, she obviously felt uncomfortable. one solution would have been to invite her to sit with you (and let the guys sit together in the other seat).
and inviting your girl friends out to a concert or dancing is a great idea. say something like 'i miss our alone time together, how about we do something, just the two of us?' your friend might have felt you were excluding her bf, when really you just wanted to spend girl time together.
either that, or find some single friends to have fun with!
Babe, you know what, I could give you some answers, but to be honest, I think you know all the answers already. I can feel it. You have always been good at feeling for yourself what's right, only sometimes you get confused and things look clouded. But deep down, you have the answers, and you know that they are right. Right for you. And that's the only person that matters, as far as your feelings are concerned.
God, how I wish we both lived in the same place again! You know that whether we were both single or one of us had a partner, we would go out and party up a storm and not give a damn what anyone would think. I miss you so much!
I happened upon your blog through Bettina.
I am in a very similar postion as you. I am one of the only single guy in my group of friends.
Your friends know that their guys will get jealous if they go out to dance at a concert with you because they know that, as most guys do, their guys will assume that they are out dancing with some strange guy. It is the same when you both go out with two of your best friends. Your friend's partner knows these two guys, so she knows he won't be jealous. A couple of my best friends are women. Their boyfriends don't mind them going out with me, because they know I am not going to try anything. But, If I bring someone new, even though I would never put my friends in an awkward position, they and their boyfriends can get spooky about it. It is a double standard but there is really nothing for you to do. Unfortunately, changing peoples' perspective is almost impossible. I can tell you that it is not just Brazillians that are full of crap.
It seems that you enjoy being single, by the tone of your post. If that is the case, then you are probably a lot like me. YOu are not a freak, you know who you are and what you want. I know what I want and will not give up being single until I find it. I've compromised before, it didn't work. There is absolutley nothing wrong with being single. Enjoy yourself and try to understand that your friends and their partners just have a completely differnet perspective than you do.
Guys,
thank you for your answers. I sure felt a bit better, and maybe not so freak, just different.
B, I know that having the chance to share my daily moments with you would be priceless. No more worrying about what a friend's partner has to say or think it's appropriate. Not to mention the shopping, martinis, margaritas (very dangerous!!!), beers, wine, vegetarian food, dancing, laughing, looking disgusting, etc, etc, etc. So many good stuff we'd be doing together again...I miss all that!!
And Larry, just because I might know the answers to the questions, and because I'm so sure of them, sometimes it makes me wonder if what I want is actually the best option...I hope it makes sense.
It makes plenty of sense. I just thought you needed to know that the lifestyle you have chosen doesn't make you a freak. It makes you, well, YOU.
Welcome to my world!!
:)
"complicada e perfeitinha...mulher de fasessssss"""
amooooooooo
Post a Comment